The Freedom of Anything and No One

If i move beyond the how to the why, and the why turns out to be nothing, then everything is nothing.

If there be no point, then there is no point in being civil, nice or abrasive.

If I am/was no one, then no one is at fault, and then no one had anything to do with anyone.

But all these doesn't mean you will go poof. Tsk.

Therefore to resolve that, you will be relative. If I am everything, in relation then, you are nothing.

Nothing can go very wrong; you are very wrong. But hey, at least i've something for myself, and so in time I will be everything.

Then you can be anything, and that amounts to nothing.

A Covenant and Expunging of Bitterness

I've set out to make a covenant with myself. I will reclaim my life bit by bit, from the one that was thrashed one year back. I may or may not succeed, but sure as hell what i do, i'll be doing it for myself, not for someone as undeserving as you.

Civility will be my common way of life. But my relationships with people will be also be predicated on mutual respect, and how people treat me. I may not have the best educated friends from elite schools, but I'm glad their world-view doesn't run in the same vein as the elitist self-centred model you have. Therefore "an eye for an eye", "a candy for a candy", if you owe me big, you jolly well pay big.

You can profess to lie around and "be around", but don't we all know litter also lies around? And they contaminate the environment. You need a dirt-picker to pick you up. You had some in addition to me. But obviously the best one headed off to UK. So big deal.

Time and time again i'll remind myself never to be wanting, never to be a beggar again. My pieces are set. Everything's too little, too late. Whatever you see, or do, or feel doesn't contribute a single thing, except perhaps to placate yourself. Oh you do not have to be "civil" and nice. In fact it will be more interesting to check whether i can spit into your face when you come at me (maybe with a bat).

So that being said, you have been a good reminder to me in school, on how ugly people can be and how ultimately, it's always "myself for myself". If you are reading this, you can cut and paste stuff to show your caring friends, or you can text me to complain (remember to cite). But read this blog and tell yourself, you are out of this oeuvre of life. This could be your life then, but not now.

Too little, too late. I promise it'll always be this way as far as i can help it. And i'll respect you if you can suffer. And throw in one thousand maybes to what may happen after that. But never before.

Polyglots and Mutually Unintelligible

But of cos, university undergrads and graduates have immense linguistic skills...

Yulong says:
it's pretty near to italian though

Yulong says: un nuovo principio

jENn|FeR says: Gehen Sie und studieren Sie für Ihre Prüfungen

Yulong says: tat's italian

jENn|FeR says: oh

jENn|FeR says: mine's spanish

jENn|FeR says: teeheehee

Yulong says: wünschen Sie nicht

Yulong says: Bohren

Yulong says: ich möchte spielen

jENn|FeR says: was möchten Sie spielen?

jENn|FeR says: ich bin Kranker von auch arbeiten

jENn|FeR says: ich möchte einkaufen gehen

Yulong says: erhaltenes Geld meh?

jENn|FeR says: haben nicht aber der gerechte Wunsch, zum zu kaufen Sie Förderer?

Yulong says: lei ho chi hai bo cho dian wa... (Babelfish can't translate for shit's sake)

jENn|FeR says: si mi?

jENn|FeR says: tidak bisa

Yulong says: OMG! we r multilingual

(and mutually UNintelligible, don't bother if you dunno Italian, German, Canto, Hokkien or Malay. We are just too cheem)

Cool mates in EL1101E eh Jennifer?
Bücher saugen, Babelfish rules!

Eating Air

Well Chris (the two Chrises in fact)... Eating Air is a film i watched for the Sg Film module.

It's really just about a boy, a girl, a motorbike, and no brakes...



Basically a rather cool Singapore film on a rather cool and playful Ah Beng, who is torn between his dreamy and weary girlfriend and his die-hard "brother' Ah Gu. A film that is worth watching if you are into the 'live fast, die young' culture (no brakes remember?).

Some more production pictures (hijacked from my lecture notes)...

And eating air is JUST what we are going to do after the blooming bloody exams. KL, JB or chalet, something should be coming out. So the relevant people, you know who you are... you have been forewarned...

good luck for exams!

Rainy Night

There was a heavy shower just now. Around 9pm. In fact these few days have been rainy. I like the rain.

I like the way the rain falls heavily at night. The drumming, the wind and the constant background filled with a murmuring. I can't stand loud repetitive noises, nor can i stand deafening silence, you know, that kind of deadening silence that makes you almost able to hear something...

Was eating beancurd at Kovan with KJ just now, was quite an experience. The world is still bustling with supper-goers, even amidst the shearing rain. They weren't selling cold beancurd, had to take the piping hot one, but hey, the smooth warmth matches the cold thrumming rain. The simplicity of life lies in the bowl of warm beancurd. And if i have to splash through water and puddles, getting cold just for that beancurd, it just makes it more special. How many can appreciate that now?

Then the rain stops, and the night is filled with its usual collection of noises. Time goes from a bustling 9pm to a heavy and cold 2.30am. Lonely cars taking the curve, singular voices echoing up from the void deck, the slams of bales of newspapers to be delivered later. This is all part of my night life now.

People say rainy days are good for sleeping; but my brain wakes up and becomes especially attuned to stimuli. Not crashing and exciting stuff like games, but the constant yet muted way a song or a book resonates within me. A coffee to enjoy, a nice short story to read (for the exams yea, but i like Mansfield personally) and plenty of self-time. Time seems to stop. No one needs me, and i need no one. Open your window and stare out if you can at the street nearby; do it after the rain and at 2am, and you will get a sense of peace that i have now.

Almost makes insomnia look palatable.
Good night and happy mugging.

Woho

Run out of brain juice, top up with coffee. if you are reading this post and still a student at nus... well... you ought to be studying you naughty kid...

Hahaha of cos we know good results are important. Right? And it's an excuse to drink more coffee. So good luck to those taking exams now or really soon.

It'll be over soon and THEN... we play!

和世界牵手！

Well man, at the risk of sounding like Aunty Lee, I've to SHOUT this to Jean！ 姐妹 You absolutely rock!

Well A*Mei was in town last thursday and BOY WAS SHE GOOD. Gave up struggling with the lit essay to go town for her concert with Jean. WAS WORTH ALL THE MONEY I PAID OK. Check the sizzling posters...


No 35 year old can look as hot, nor sing as well man. It's been ten long years since her first album. And her voice mellowed out, she sounded really really sad on the slow numbers... Was pure nostalgia as she belted out song after song from her first few albums... like the all-time favourites 听海，解脱，真实... plus the newer 剪爱 and 记得: those songs are like ultimate heartbreak songs la. Probably she was at her "best performance" cos of the rumoured break-up... And her fast numbers still rock! HIGH 到爆炸!!!

Ok so she sang beyond the 2hrs stipulated concert, and it was 4hrs worth of heavenly time. So what if me and jean were right at the back (cheapest seats mah), we bought our lightsticks, sang out loud and did the mad standing and dancing thing at the end... Felt like mad 18 year olds again.

Haha I didn't feel so good and high in AGES! So what if we had hoarse voices and sore throats on friday hmmm? I missed my lecture too.

10 years and A*Mei is still rocking... and if she comes again...Jean... 姐妹,牵手and let's go HIGH HIGH ＨＩＧH!

Ok this is an insomnia-fueled post... but what the hell.
Morning.

this post is for fun

well this post, is really for fun. i am stuck at home with work piling up and absolutely zero desire to finish it all. Plus, stardust beckons.

Can't wait for the sem to be over.