25

Filler material. And i figured i can plagarise myself from facebook :)

1) My parents did not choose a funny name for me. They chose a name that enables me to differentiate cheena people from the non-cheenas. It's YU4 Long2 by the way.

2) My name can be turned into a non-grammatical question. Especially when the american profs (i've 4 Americans teaching 4 lit modules) take attendance in class (i gave up correcting them). Truncatedly a "you long?", but of cos physically speaking I think that the object in question tends to be the very opposite of truncated.

3) So once I answered "Very" to the "You Long?" attendance question. The Filipino tutor in question was not very pleased. She was shocked in fact. Must be never see before.

4) Enough of the Long thing. I tend to be excessively, loquaciously verbose (yea). Imagine the redundant words i've to clear from every essay just to hit the word limit. It's not difficult though.

5) I love coffee. It wakes me up in the morning, supports me after lunch, and offers solace during essay-banging and readathons. What a girl Coffee is. Coffee is my default girlfriend now. The orgasms are incredible. I get so stoned sometimes. Really shouldn't go into the specifics of my sex life. Slurp.

6) A friend once wanted to give me this hamster with a big dick that drags behind it. I was very excited about my pet-to-be. Apparently she/sister found it too cute... And i did not get it in the end. I would have called it Dog. I like my pets to have aspirations.

7) If another friend gets me what she promised, a fighting fish, i shall call it Fish Leong.

8) I don't really like pets. They take too much time to care for and stuff. Therefore Fish Leong will be a fighting fish because they are sociopaths anyway.

9) I love Wuthering Heights to bits. It's my life-story from 2005 to 2007 you see (and thus you see my Romantic side). And the burying of bodies in open coffins so that their bones can mingle for eternity is just too cool for words. It's not gross ok. I am Heathcliff. Fwah power.

10) I like to think that I am a bifurcated person. Or a schizophrenic. Or that the people around me are schizo. Why? Some friends think I am a geek; some say I behave like an ah beng; some say I am the best example of teacherly material; some beseech me to tell them which school i am posted to next time (just in case some kid they know heads there accidentally). Nah i am just really playing with you guys. Unequivocally, I am Long ok. Suspension of disbelief please.

11) I thought i'd say i love travelling. I do la, to a large extent. See the sights, hear the language, feel the culture. But home is the best (NYC is too expensive, and so is the rest of USA, M'sia is really oh-so-ghetto etc), therefore I get all irritated at the differences sometimes. So to placate my travelling mates (and to sound feel-y), i always do the diplomatic "it's really the company that matters, i'll go anyway with you" line.

12) Many people, especially girls, say that I sweet-talk. No i do not sell bubble tea, but I do like to drink sweet-talk bubble tea. And I concluded that accusations of sweet-talking is just a disingenuous way for the accuser to sound disapproving (and moral), yet still be in a position to partake of the verbal flattery. What is the purpose of studying lit as a prof was wont to say, if not to appear knowledgeable and have a way with girls? Sell point for my students next time. "What is your passion? Jio girls/boys?"

13) I love a-mei. Once i put off finishing an essay due the next morning to watch a-mei's concert. I went broke paying for the cheapest ticket and went with jean. We were the only mad people jumping and shaking at the very back row. Felt weird but fun. Eventually a few other prudes joined us. And i was so hyped up after the concert that of cos I finished the essay on time.

14) I like quirky films. I've seen the weirdest stuff in film classes. On my own i prefer either perfectly brainless flicks or those arthouse stuff. Another bifurcation huh? I prefer to think that i am balanced. Scary Movie(s) are as welcomed as Ozu.

15) My maths suck. I failed maths till sec four. And i had this awesome old maths tutor that famously rescued many in my family from O level maths doom. I broke his record of A1s for all his students. I got a B3. I've not seen him since.

16) I like to do things last minute. Especially for papers. I love the adrenaline rush, the flow of ideas and the kick of it all. It's like the Death and Sex thing (which idiot critic put that into my head?). Overshoot the deadline, well then of cos i am dead. Else it's the FEEL of it all and the sense of wellbeing and relief after the hard action. Call me a last minute addict.

17) I don't sell my books and lit texts. So my room is crammed with books and papers. I think i violate fire regulations. Will die in a flaming inferno if my room catches fire. Then again it makes for good poseuring. Friend comes into room, looks and muses "WOW you have so many weird titles!". And I'd wave and say "well i read Shakespeare, Donne, Euripedes, Socrates and all that for fun".

18) I fall asleep with the current lit text i must read beside my head. Reason one is that i am just too lazy to put it away. Reason two is that i believe in osmosis. I might get the book in my head for the lesson the next day.

19) I get serious insomnia when i am stressed or upset. Used to be so damn frustrated and angry. But in time i've learnt to appreciate the interesting thoughts that run through my head. I heard birds chirping at 3am once.

20) No i am not crazy. I am interesting.

21) Is this going to end soon? I've one of those hairy squeezey PVC balls with two eyes they sell at pasar malams. It's my kid from a previous marriage.

22) I like minced meat noodles (bak chok mee). And i like to add alot of vinegar to it.

23) DAMN too long. The list i mean. I believe that there is no difference between the heavens and hells of all the religions. It's all on another planet like Earth. The Christian heaven can be a first world country, Nirvana can be in somewhere like Nepal and Hell can be like some sub-Saharan nightmare. So I tell some of my friends to ring me up after we are all dead. We can check out one another's heavens. I may not call if i make it though. I may join the buddhist great Nothingness.

24) I want a Vespa or a hatchback or even a steel bike with a big basket in front. I dream of cycling to school on that classic bike with a chinese/lit teacher girlfriend behind me. I might have to stand up to paddle upslope though so she must not be too heavy.

25) I like to type nonsense at the wrong time. So there. 25 Long Things.

Don't you guys have to study/work? Hahaha.